French Fries and Cigarettes

French Fries & Cigarettes

I sit out in my car on my lunch breaks, its what you do when you don’t have money to go anywhere. I usually bring a bag of Cheezits from my house and take a complimentary soda from my office and I sit in my car and read my book. When I’m done I go back to work. Sometimes if I’m lucky and I was able to snag enough cigarettes from the house I smoke one before I go back inside. This week though, I had money. I’ve bought French Fries at the little cafeteria everyday this week. They are only a dollar and a nickel and they give me a whole lot of fries, like way more than a dollars worth. I wonder if they know that I’m broke and they pity me so they give me extra. I pay with exact change every time and they never have to break big bills for me so they must know that I’m dirt poor. Maybe I’m just being paranoid though. Anyways, The French fries are cheap and that’s a plus but the added bonus is that I have been hung-over everyday this week and greasy food is exactly what I’m craving. The best part of having money again is that I now have the means to be hung-over everyday. You wouldn’t think that would be something I would be shooting for, hangovers, but my hangovers are nice because it means that I got some sleep. Sleeping doesn’t come easy to me, but after 5 beers I usually don’t have much problem falling to sleep. I still wake up throughout the night sometimes so that’s why I take sleeping pills. That’s all a lie. I drink every night because I like beer. I could care less if I never slept again. As long as I had beer. I like going to the store to get it, I like bringing it home, putting it in the fridge and then drinking it. It tastes good, it makes my cigarettes better, it keeps me company. People seem to think drinking by yourself is taboo but I think those people are stupid. You aren’t drinking by yourself when beer is your companion. Your pretty much holding hands with it, and you probably wouldn’t be doing that with your friends. Besides if you feel weird about drinking by yourself put the TV on, or better yet call one of your friends. People love getting drunk dialed at 11pm on a work night. They want to hear you slur and stumble on your words as you tell them about the wicked funny commercial you just saw. If they tell you they’re sleeping, call them a pussy and hang up on them. Then call them back over and over again. Make it your own little game, ruining someone’s night. Then the next day when someone asks you what you did last night you have something to say instead of “drank by myself, watched TV.” Now you can say, “Oh man, it was the best night ever, I got wasted and then I called Tim all night, first it was just his cell phone, but then he shut it off, so I started calling the house, and then his wife picked up the phone and I could hear the baby crying in the background, I got him soooo good.” Much better story right? I stray, basically I like money. I enjoy the security it brings. Tasty French Fries to nurse my beautiful hangover that awarded me an excellent night of sleep and then a nice cigarette after my lunch. Who cares if I sit in my room and drink by myself, and who cares if I sit in my car and eat by myself? I’m having a better time than people who have lots of money and can go out and drink at bars with other people and who go to restaurants for their lunch. Hmmm maybe I should bring the beer with me and drink it in my car on my break that would be a double whammy. Now that’s something to think about.