More Bang for your Buck

On our neverending quest for the cheapest hotel in the Boston area me and hubby stumbled upon a Motel 8 just seconds from home. Although I do feel a certain sense of betrayal on our part to the Arbor Inn Motor Lodge that we have called our home away from home for the past year. But we managed to get over that feeling when we abandoned Presidents Inn after finding out the Arbor Inn was only $76 compared to Presidents which is $109. Motel 8 being the cheapest one to date coming at at precisely $70 dollars. Its also a King Size bed compared to the other two that give you two queens. And get this, they have HBO. The coffee maker was broken and the lights were really dim but that is my only complaint. Its a much newer building and the blankets dont have nearly half the amounts of cigarette burns on them. This is our third hotel that we frequent and they are getting cheaper everytime so hopefully the next one we find will be only $50 a night. That would be rad.

Want, Need

I just want to feel decent. I want some sense of control over the thoughts that roam my head throughout the day. I want to find a way to deal with each nagging thought and dismiss it, instead of harboring these creepy feelings like something is always about to take over and crush me. I wish I didn’t push them all down and ignore them this long because now they have gotten so powerful that they seep into my dreams and wake me with a rush of panic Or they dominate my concentration in the lonely hours of the night when everyone else is sleeping and I am pleading with a God I don’t even believe in to grant me just a few sweet hours of sleep and escape from myself. Sleep is the drug I don’t pay for, the booze I don’t have to drink. Sleep is all I need to feel human. But I can’t sleep without either of the two. I need to cloud my head with drugs and alcohol in order to let myself drift off to sleep. To escape from the guilt and frustration I feel all day long. And it’s terrifying. Falling asleep at night has become such a struggle, something I dread all day because of the fear that lingers behind my eyelids and makes me sweat and shake and traps me in violent nightmares. And the pressure of knowing that if I don’t fall to sleep I will not go to work and I will spend another entire day basked in guilt. How is somebody supposed to recharge and feel human when they can’t do the most essential and natural thing they are supposed to do?
They figure out what it is they have been smothering all this time, they face the things that scare them and make them feel low and they let go of all of it. Then they lie down at night and doze off to sleep through the night and dream of things that aren’t dark and ugly and they wake up and feel like they can face the day cause at the end of it they can have another break from their heavy thoughts.

Update on Empty Wallet

Not only did I get through to unemployment and plead my case but they said they will send the check out today. My dad give me 60 bucks yesterday and Kelly gave me a knife last night. I won't be getting raped now.

Nest On (The Maggots Nest Anthem)

Nest On ( My Ode to the Maggots Nest)

By Lizzi Tish

Every time that I look in the mirror
No more Natty Ice and things get clearer
the beers are gone
they lasted from eight till dawn
isn't that the way
Every maggots got a nest where they can stay

Yeah, I know everybody knows where the beer comes from and where it goes
I know the number for Franklin Just hit rocketdial and they'll deliver a new case of sin

Half my life's lived in Nests & Cages
live and learn from my friends drunken rages
you know it's true
all the maggots come back to booze

Sing with me, sing for the Nest
sing for the laughter and sing for unrest
sing with me,
if it's just today
maybe tomorrow the good Beakey will send us away

Nest on, Nest on, Nest yourself a dream come true
Nest on, nest on, Nest on, and Nest until the beers are through

Life Lessons

True Story One evening while laying in bed with her boyfriend and best friend watching the movie Permanent Midnight there was a girl who had recently decided to end her month long drinking binge. Ten minutes into the movie she saw someone with a bottle of beer and was quickly reminded of how good it tastes. At this point she sprang from the bed, dove to her pocketbook and pulled out her remaining gas money for the week. Three dollar bills, three quarters, one dime. If she could find one more quarter she could afford two 40oz of Natural Ice. She started to feel the burning eyes of the people in the room and realized she looked like a coyote hovering over a fresh squirrel carcass and she grew embaressed. She decided pajama pants and flip flops would suffice for this trip and she fled the room and the judging looks from her peers. When she pulled up at the conveniently close Red Apple Liquors, she noticed two very unsavory men; one sitting in a pick up truck next to her car, the other standing at the door talking to the one in the pick up. The one at the door looked like he lived underneath a train station. He donned a tight, tan leather jacket, with those creepy gloves that have the fingers cut off, and a turtleneck covered by flannel. His face was riddled with pock marks, and his mangled teeth the color of nicotene. He was the type of person you could look at and immediately know what he smelled like. She weighed her options of either staying in the car and pretending to try and find something until they left or suck it up and walk in the store. Her hunger for cold, refreshing beer was too dire so she got up her courage and walked into the store. Naturally this guy was standing in front of the Miller High Life's so she did not have to stand too close to him. She was scared because all too often these type of men would hit on her, and she was feeling very vulnerable in her pajamas and tank top. She picked up her two 40oz and headed for the counter where he already was, it was here the two made conversation.

Sleezy Halfway House dude- "Oops ,didn’t see ya there " (as he gestured for her to put her beer on the counter while he was getting his change into his wallet)
Ridiculously Cool Girl- "oh thanks" (as she placed her beer onto the counter nervously)
Sleezy Halfway House Dude "40 ounces huh? You go girl" (smiling through his chapped lips at her) Ridiculously Cool Girl "Nothing but the best" (as she slowly turns the bottle to unveal the Natural Ice Label) Sleezy Halfway House Dude- "Whoooaa Natty Ice to boot, you’re a woman after my own heart" (as he places a hand over his heart on his tethered flannel shirt and walks backwards out of the store, raising his bag of beer to her)
Ridiculously Cool Girl- "Hahha Enjoy!!" (as she turns her attention back to the look of abolute disgust from the Indian clerk she realizes that she just looked into the eyes of her inevitable future)

She leaves the store and chuckles to herself about yet another liquor store experience that has left her heart warm and her smile wide and decided that the people that make her uncomfortable and look like potential rapists are actually her friends.

How to Ace a Job Interview

I just got a job at a pretty reputable company. How I beat out the 6 other candidates for the position goes a little something like this..
1. Party until 4 am at friends house on the night before the interview.
2. Drive home and struggle to get 4 hours of sleep before waking up to head to interview.
3. Wake up and Pull clothing out of the suitcase that you have been living out of because you have been thrown out of your house for the second time in 3 months. Do NOT iron. Do not acknowledge the fact that your belly is completely exposed and your jean jacket us filthy.
4. Leave makeup on that you had on when you went out the night before. Just clean up the black eye makeup that has wandered half way down your face.
5. Get to interview and stare blankly at the directory on the wall until someone asks you if you need help. Get on elevator travel up and down between floors until you realize the floor you are looking for is labeled lobby not 1st floor.
6. Get off elevator and stare blankly at directory again until someone else asks you if you need help. Explain predicament and have you future coworker explain the whole Lobby=1st floor thing. Then giggle and say "yeah Im kind of retarded when it comes to finding things" Then upon introductions discover this man is someone you will be working for.
7. Arrive in office of Interviewer where he asks you questions and you give one word answers.
8. Pick at your fingernails, fidget, and act completely disinterested.
9. When he asks you what your short term goals are, say "I dont really have any Im kinda just living day to day" then laugh about how dumb that sounded.
10. When he asks you if you have any questions about the position or about the company. Say "no" and offer no follow up.
11. While he is walking you out of his office say "pardon the jean jacket I know I must look like a dirtbag but Ive been living out of boxes for a week" Dont explain further.
12. And finally as you are walking through the door and down the hallway hit him with a "Laaattta" in your most West Quincy voice.
13. Wait for the company to come begging to hire you and then go ace a drug test so you can start the next round of "the Liz Furlong Job expectancy Pool"

Letter to Sir Mix-A Lot

Dear Sir Mix A Lot, I am writing you to ask for your help. It seems as though many of my friends are suffering from SMAV Which is a street term for Sir Mix A Lot Virus. It is impossible to breach any subject without breaking into song whether it be about drinking, pancakes, butter, Marching Powder and many other day to day life issues besides big butts. It has become close to impossible to carry on conversation with anyone of my friends these days because they are breaking out into song and dance midway through conversation. I know these were not your intentions when you wrote this song, clearly you were just expressing your love for "big butts" and trying to tell your other brothers not to deny their shared affection for a round derriere but I don’t think you thought about the negative affects it could have on today's youth. Case in point whilst enjoying a night out with friends Saturday March 27th my dear friend Jeff was discussing his passion for pancakes and it turned ugly when he could not stop singing and adding lyrics about butter and whatnot. He was struck down in the prime of his fun and turned into a mumbling fool. We had to dose him up with liquor and other pharmaceuticals just to make him stop. Take my friend Kelly for example she just likes to drink. That's not a crime but what is a crime is the fact that she cannot even tell her fellow drinking partner about her love for drinking without breaking into song. Its becoming a problem that is way worse than her excessive drinking. So please if you could I would love to hear perhaps a new song you could write. Just please don’t include the words Schfifty, Schwaum, Hokey Pokey, Country, Nice, Momma Likes, and Nine. I know that you are not responsible for the growing trend and overuse of those words I will be writing letters to the people responsible for that at a later date. So in conlcusion although I do love and respect and appreciate you and your love of the round things in your face I do not get sprung when I see my friends suffering. Please write a new song you will be helping us a lot.
Thank you, Becky Furlong