tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25157349504099891512024-03-08T12:40:27.252-08:00Butterbump Biscuit BitchA bunch of random shit, randomly placed in blog format.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-37859554366608351622013-07-18T08:50:00.002-07:002013-07-18T08:50:53.956-07:00An Old Poem about Myself.Little Lizzi weak bladder runs her mouth with non-stop chatter<br />
Too many thoughts too finish each one so I start another one before the last ones done<br />
My brain maps might be hard to follow but Ill explain them to you if you got time I can borrow<br />
See there is a method to my madness its called attention deficit distractedness with a little hyperactivity thrown in the mix<br />
Which will help explain the constant fidgets I’ve been to doctors and therapist so I know my conditions legit.<br />
I can’t listen when you talk to me.. directions, names and numbers are lost on me.<br />
Sometimes I see something shiny and I lose my train of thought<br />
Every once in a while you might think you got me caught<br />
But I can trick you into thinking I know what you just said<br />
I do this with a “yeah” and a nod of my head.<br />
Its not that I’m stupid or that I just don’t care its just I got too much of my own sh*t going on up there.<br />
Not all of its profound not all of it’s worth thinking about<br />
Mostly Im just thinking of what Im gonna wear next time I go out.<br />
But you still can’t hold my interest and I still can’t pay attention.<br />
I’m just involved in my own thoughts and having my own conversation<br />
So don’t blame yourself or think your boring me<br />
I just have too many wheels turning in my head that you can’t see.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-50545631568349312642012-10-22T11:07:00.001-07:002012-10-22T11:10:45.956-07:00death car for blondiebad luck comes when you need it the least .I recently totalled my car in an act of sheer stupidity, driving along with my eyes glued to the phone and then BOOM airbag smashing me in the face and tearing the skin off my arm. but and this is the good part- the guy i hit was the one who was wasted, not me. so i dont feel as guilty and stupid as i have after most of my transgressions behind the wheel. so two months from now i will have wheels again and bitch'll be locking the phone in the trunk to avoid the need to answer texts while driving. adhd has proven to be a bitch when im behind the wheel. Ive never claimed to be a good driver and most of my friends suffer anxiety attacks when their in the whip with me. Two other shitty things went wrong this last month thats a little too personal for public viewing, and then i had to have another molar ripped from the roots of my skull. the dentist and his assistant had to hold my head in place while he tugged back and forth on the stubborn motherfucker of a tooth. but anyway, Ive had it good the past 10 months after i got my life together so I really can't complain about a little bad luck. Can't cruise thru life with no speed bumps. Gotta say this Kanyes Cruel Summer is making my life much better lately. The CD kicks ass and my Ipod was recently flooded with new music to the point i got no memory left but i just keep listening to Cruel Summer and Pusha T. As my dear friend Pamela would say I'm kinda living for it. its near the end of october and its a beautiful day, I'm rocking a wifebeater and i aint even chilly. Speaking of wifebeaters. my awful cat that my mom and me adopted 6 months ago got stuck in my room this morning when the door blew shut and i was sleeping so to get revenge she pissed all over the outift i had laid out for today. calculating little fucker. she knew. sorry for the lower case i started this blog on my phone and its a bitch to capitilize so thats that. anyways all I'm trying to say is when bad luck comes you just gotta roll thru it and after a few weeks it becomes a distant memory. then you got nice weather and good music and everything feels a little bit sunnier. i got burns on my arm from the accident and a gaping hole in my gums and no whip to get me anywhere but instead of dwelling on it im just pretending it didnt happen and in a few months life will be back on track..lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-74095013479805972142012-10-01T14:19:00.000-07:002012-10-22T11:12:59.830-07:00Writers BlockSo being on anti psychotics can seriously take away someones ability to write so I've been avoiding it for years. It breaks my heart to not have any inspiration to write anymore I see all the shit I wrote on here a couple years ago and clearly I had some free time, mania, and creativity. It'll come back to me I just have to practice. So its been 9 months without using any opiates. Living somewhat clean or at least 95% clean still having some beers occasionally but compared to where I was the last time I was typing on here its a fucking miracle. Lots of hard work but so totally worth it in the end. I lost another great friend to drugs. I always considered him invincible so his death was a wake up call. Albeit I've had a million wake up calls but this time I listened.. I'm Done with that shit. I just bought a car. Staring looking into schools, got back some jewellery and self respect All things I had basically abandoned and I never thought I'd have again... Trying out the AA scene and it aint the worst thing in the world like I used to think it was. Still going to outpatient treatment at Adcare. I'm trying to remember where I was the last 5 and 1/2 years though cause Im finding myself getting snotty with people who are still using and I don't mean to do that it just frustrates me to see people making the same mistakes and not getting out of their own way. I don't wanna become Sunshine Suzy with the creepy AA glazed eyes and sobriety slogans but I'm doing things different this time and hopefully good will come out of it. Ill end this with my new favorite quote that I got inked on my ribs last month "sometimes the brightest lights come from the darkest places"lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-68685798744242246822009-10-13T12:51:00.001-07:002009-10-13T12:52:31.989-07:00BlahI got no inspriration these days nothing decent worth writing about so Ill see ya when I see ya.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-10233896181864374062009-09-30T21:52:00.000-07:002009-10-01T21:08:35.732-07:00Nothing makes me happierThan natural disasters. Christ when I see a "Breaking News Tornado Tears apart Town" news report I am filled with glee. I don't want to see people get hurt or die or have their possesions destroyed I just love inclement weather. I look forward to Hurricane season with anticipation that only a child feels on Christams Eve. Unfortunately up here in Boston we don't get many hurricanes, once every 10 years or something. The ocean is my other Favorite thing in the entire world. You give me a big nasty fucking storm thats got the ocean involved all crazy and wild and I am literally puking rainbows out of excitement. Indonesia just had a Tsunami, lucky fucks. I'll be tuned into Anderson Cooper 360 for the next week glued to the images of hugemongous waves wiping out whole fucking cities. I dont mean to be insensitive but my entertainment is my number one priority. It sucks when people die, I know that and it makes me sad so I cry while watching this shit on tv and its a weird and messy mixture of crying and smiling while being mesmorized by gusts of wind and massive waves. I dunno. I know what I like, and I like storms. I just saw OJ Simpson on tv and I thought "I wonder if OJ likes bad weather, like me?" and the thought alone made me laugh so hard I almost choked on the orange I am eating. too much excitement for one evening. I'm out-lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-12723775940145929142009-08-23T10:52:00.000-07:002009-08-23T10:53:36.231-07:00CongratulationsTo Beak Wilder on his blog that has been recognized by Quincy's Patriot Ledger. Keep it up.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-58846365003430543692009-08-23T10:44:00.000-07:002009-08-23T10:58:59.801-07:00Professional HelpSo I went to the Behavioral Therapist that I am forced to see so I can keep getting Scrips for xanax and she told me she had never in all her years of Therapy met anyone who had as many issues with sleep as I do. She said Its almost like you look at sleep as a challenge that is waiting for you at the end of every day. This is true I said. Even at 10 am I am already stressed about the going to sleep process that will come in 12 hours. I havent even been having the problems I usually have while sleeping in the past 6 months but I still stress about it. And I don't even have to wake up for anything in the morning , so she plans on having me fixed up before I get a job and have to get to sleep and wake up at scheduled times. Good luck lady. Your about to tackle 15 year bad sleep habits and dependence on sleep aids. Ill be forever in her debt if it works.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-53443260536685960322009-08-06T20:22:00.001-07:002009-08-06T20:39:26.824-07:00Dead EyesEverytime I pass the mirror today I see my reflection and I cannot help but notice that there is no life in my fucking eyes. I have been a zombie for the past few days and the mouse keeps running on her wheel and its all I can hear and I think its tipping the bad chemicals into my brain at lightning speed. The paint on my toes is all chipped but the idea of painting my toes hot pink today is so fucking ludicrous i can only look at my feet and laugh because it means that at some point in the past few weeks I was happy enough to paint them hot pink. I couldnt smile if somebody paid me a buck. Which is more than I have in my wallet. My dead best friends brother across the street is having house parties all week and I cant help but get pissed at the sound of people having fun over there because I know if she was still alive we would be partying and her little brother would only be allowed to have a couple people over. And we would have reign of the kitchen area. I keep meaning to watch a comedy to lighten my spirit but when I get into the On Demand menu I go for doom and gloom. I cannot get in touch with my boyfriend because neither of us has operating cell phones and I cant call his grandmothers house this late and he cant call my parents house this late and if that isnt the most pathetic thing you've ever heard I dont know what is. I just brushed my teeth in an attempt at being human and got toothpaste all over my shirt. Today is only Thursday. I have nothing planned for the immediate future except for a wedding on the 15th that I wish I didnt agree to and no money to do anything until I get my second to last unemployment check next tuesday. I got one of those lumps in my throat you know the kind that dont go away. I wanna cry and I cant and its gonna be there until I do. The days keep passing me by and I miss my apartment and beng able to see my bf everyday and not having the constant worry that I am going to make my mom mad. I did some writing on paper earlier that was so fucking dark I folded it up real tiny and hid it under my clothes in the closet. I thought maybe if I purged onto paper I would feel better but obviously not cause here I am publicy purging and I still feel crummy. So Im gonna shut the lights off so I can't see my blank face in the mirror and maybe tomorrow will be a little better. If not the mouse is being moved out to the garage since I blame all this on the incessant sound of that fucking wheel.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-44203986311256304872009-07-19T17:25:00.000-07:002009-07-19T17:33:56.990-07:00Greeting Politicians with weaponsSo earlier today I'm laying in bed cleaning out my pocketbook. So I noticed there was tons of sand in my switchblade or knife whatever. So I start cleaning it out when I hear a knock at my door so I go down and answer it. Its former Mayor Bill Phelan and he wants to leave a pamphlet and try to win my vote. So I open the door for him to give me the pamphlet and the politicians handshake but I forgot I had a rather sharp knife in my hand and he saw it and totally stepped back a few inches. So I put the knife in my left hand and reached out to shake his with my right and tell him I voted for him before and was planning to vote for him again. To which he thanked me and said have a nice night all the while staring at my absentmindedly knife weilding hand. It was more than fucking hilarious as I realized what had just occured..lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-43331515844778148102009-07-15T21:40:00.000-07:002009-07-15T21:42:19.699-07:00IM BACKI didnt mean to abandon my page completely not that it matters cause nobody reads it anyways I have been without computer access for over a year. Once I get back to work I will be a blogging machine again so my audience of zero should be psyched!lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-20776896435068083482008-04-29T13:06:00.002-07:002008-04-29T13:55:39.188-07:00"I just want to be alright"I was in a semi consience state this morning while Shawn struggled to get me up for work. Too many pills last night made it extra tough to get with the program this morning. Dr.s orders, take 20 of these and call me in the morning. So as I sat at the end of the bed with my fists clenched and my eyes unfocused and my brain still in a sleeping state, I mumbled the words "I just want to be alright". Sleep talking wisdom. I dont think I could sum up the way I feel lately in a better way than that. I just want to be alright.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-85323999509881509612008-02-12T13:09:00.000-08:002009-07-15T21:44:26.609-07:00Duck, Duck, Duck Duck, HATEI'm not a stranger to dissapointment, so I dont really understand why I take it so bad everytime I am let down. Trust is a very powerful thing to give to someone- your trust in them not to hurt you. Your trust in them to only look out for your best intentions. I have had few good friends throughout my life who have never betrayed this trust. My first "best friend" I had for 22 years she died before she ever got the chance to hurt me so I miss her in more ways than anyone will ever know. I have opened myself up to having another best friend But every other person along the way has in some way or another broken my heart, made me even more cynical, changed me in some way. Nicole and Eric being the exceptions. In my opinion when someone is your friend, truly your friend, you should be able to make mistakes, butt heads and disgaree with them, go months without talking and not have them turn their backs on you. I cannot even tell you the amounts of people in my life who have taken this route. Just up and said "Fuck you Im all set with ya". Immediate family included. I think Im pretty up front about the kind of person I am when I meet people. They usually have an idea what they are signing on for before they decided if they want to be my friend or not... so I dont undestand how if I mess up and make a mistake you could flip so motherfucking quick on me that you now wish I was dead. Honestly the amount of times that this has happened to me in my life is astonishing.. I dont know what it is about me that makes it so easy for people to give up on me and turn their backs. I wish I did so I could change it and make them stop doing it but in the meantime I will have to stay untrusting and cynical to protect myself from being abandoned again.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-6831059424705009052008-01-21T10:59:00.000-08:002008-01-24T10:05:06.933-08:00Phrases that need to die..<strong>1. "What happens in Vegas stay in Vegas"</strong><br /><br />I swear to fucking god I hate this phrase more than any other in the world. I hate it even more when people replace Vegas with whatever location they are talking about. Such as "What happens in the closet of my upstairs bedroom, stays in the closet of my upstairs bedroom". Just leave it alone. If any of my friends were to ever utter this phrase after returning from Las Vegas I would immediately question their worthiness of my friendship.<br /><br /><br /><strong>2. "That's Hot!"</strong><br /><br />You are not Paris Hilton and you shouldnt want to be. To say this is the equivalent of saying "I have no brain and therefore cannot think of any other way to express my feelings for whatever it is I am talking about." Also Paris Hilton I raise my middle finger to you for contributing to the dumbing down of America.<br /><br /><br /><strong>3. "See you next year!"</strong> (Often said as an employee leaves work on New Years Eve)<br /><br />No you will not see me next year you will see me the day after tomorrow. Yes it is technically a New Year but the time elapsed between your exit from work on New Years and your return from work on January 2nd has not equalled a year. Also, you are not the first person to come up with this witty idea, so just let it rest. If you feel the need to say something as you leave work why don't you try "Happy New Year" or even "Goodbye".<br /><br /><strong>4. "Shit Happens"</strong><br /><br /><br />No shit huh? If this is the only response you can come up with after someone tells you about their troubles then sympathy is obviously beyond you. Instead of saying "Shit Happens" you could say "look, thats too bad that you are having a tough time with things but I dont have any advice for you. Stop bitching to me and go whine to someone who cares."<br /><br /><br /><strong>5. "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda"</strong><br /><br /><br />I first heard this one when I was playing cards with one of my uncles. He said it everytime someone said "Oh I shoulda folded" or anything like that and he would say "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda" and I was like 'Yeah I know thats what I just said'. It just seems to serve no purpose except for rubbing it into the persons face who didnt trust their first instinct. .<br /><br /><br /><strong>6. "Money doesn't buy happiness"<br /></strong><br />Until I am in a position to truthfully say this myself, I don't want to hear it.<br /><br /><strong>7. "You can't have your cake and eat it too"</strong><br /><br />LIES! Yes you fucking can have your cake and it eat it to. I have never met a person who bought themselves, or were given a cake and were not allowed to eat it. Where did this phrase come from and why do people still use it.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-51565316445185392702008-01-16T13:04:00.000-08:002008-01-16T13:07:05.983-08:00BOSTONOh how I love you. Every once in a while I have a moment were I realize how amazing this city is. Its usually in the winter when the cold air and the setting sun outline the buildings so perfectly that I can't stop staring at them. Today is one of those days.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-78670664087834166012007-12-19T08:57:00.000-08:002007-12-19T09:05:30.548-08:00The SicknessMy skin literally feels like what you might imagine a lizard with cooking oil all over it feels like. My nose and throat like a vaccuum cleaner bag exploded in my face while I was yawning. I want to go home and lay down but the bed will just make my bones hurt worse. The ground outside is covered in shit colored snow and its so fucking cold out that the sentence "motherfucker its is FREEZING out" is all that goes through my head. When I cough I can taste remnants of cigarettes and other shit that was inhaled days ago. I hate being sick. I hate being sick I hate being sick. Go away sick. Stop now. I swear Ill sleep better and start wearing a jacket just leave me be.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-78380841632474733632007-12-11T09:18:00.000-08:002007-12-11T09:53:40.813-08:00Public Transportation SucksWake up, brush teeth, head out the door, gross orange pill under my tongue, cigarette, bus, fuck off, Curry, time check-late, "free metro", "no thanks, got a book", waiting waiting, Train rolls in, frantic seat hungry asians, read my book, hide my face under my; hood, sunglasses, and pages, Wollaston, North Quincy, the long haul to JFK where my back feels like its breaking, "two more stops Liz hang in there", "South Station change here for commuter rail and silver line", Ahhhh so close, Hike up the very steep steps because its good excercise and then curse myself for not taking the escalator, too early in the morning to be pushing my body so hard, Next set of steps I take the escalator, cigarettes and lighter ready, cold blast of air "Free Boston Now" , "No thanks, Got a book", "spare change Miss" "sorry wish I could help", three blocks to work, comfort soon, hang in there, sit at my desk and feel the awesome relief in my lower back and put the space heater on, Lunch time, no money, no shit, 5pm time to leave, blast of cold in my face, cigarette, "spare change" "im broke sorry", "Free Boston Now" I just wave my book in the face, charlie card-not enough funds, no shit, scrape together some change, train, fuck off, Quincy Center, Donuts smell so good, laugh to myself abnout how pathetic not being able to afford a donut, bus, Curry, walk up the hill in shoes that are soaked, temporary home, walk upstairs, change, lay down. Ten hours until its time to do it all over again. Fuck, my life is so repititous, if thats even a word. Just plow through the next two months and things will be better.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-23852338044021520062007-12-06T07:49:00.000-08:002007-12-06T07:52:35.661-08:00Who says Public Tranportation SucksI overheard the most hiliarious conversation between two girls who appeared to be around 19 years old. It was on the bus this morning and it went like this.<br />Girl One "Why wouldnt your brother give you a ride?"<br />Girl two "Cause he's a fucking asshole.. but its alright I got him back, cause as soon as he left for work I went in his room and stole his money"<br /><br />Pause and silence between them both for about One Minute<br /><br />Girl Two "I really hope he gets attacked by rabid monkeys"<br /><br />Awesome. But that wasnt the end of the awesomeness, They started talking about something else for a while and the girl Two casually says<br /><br /> " I think Im gonna take a nap today at nap time" (Im assuming they work at a daycare)<br /><br />Girl One "I think Im gonna shoot myself in the face today"<br />Girl Two "well at least wait and do it after nap time"<br />Girl One "Yeah Good point"<br /><br />Silence for a little while and then<br />Girl One says to Girl Two "hey I saw Hooker Mary this morning if that makes you feel any better"<br />Girl Two "oh yeah what was she wearing?"<br />Girl One "Red Spandex"<br />Girl Two "hooker Mary is gonna catch pnemonia today"<br /><br />That was the end of the conversation.Thank you girls for making my morning memorable with your hilarious conversationlizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-9472947777917124072007-11-26T10:37:00.000-08:002007-11-26T10:45:56.919-08:00More Bang for your BuckOn our neverending quest for the cheapest hotel in the Boston area me and hubby stumbled upon a Motel 8 just seconds from home. Although I do feel a certain sense of betrayal on our part to the Arbor Inn Motor Lodge that we have called our home away from home for the past year. But we managed to get over that feeling when we abandoned Presidents Inn after finding out the Arbor Inn was only $76 compared to Presidents which is $109. Motel 8 being the cheapest one to date coming at at precisely $70 dollars. Its also a King Size bed compared to the other two that give you two queens. And get this, they have HBO. The coffee maker was broken and the lights were really dim but that is my only complaint. Its a much newer building and the blankets dont have nearly half the amounts of cigarette burns on them. This is our third hotel that we frequent and they are getting cheaper everytime so hopefully the next one we find will be only $50 a night. That would be rad.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-81570408153359138542007-11-17T01:13:00.000-08:002009-08-13T14:10:45.816-07:00Want, NeedI just want to feel decent. I want some sense of control over the thoughts that roam my head throughout the day. I want to find a way to deal with each nagging thought and dismiss it, instead of harboring these creepy feelings like something is always about to take over and crush me. I wish I didn’t push them all down and ignore them this long because now they have gotten so powerful that they seep into my dreams and wake me with a rush of panic Or they dominate my concentration in the lonely hours of the night when everyone else is sleeping and I am pleading with a God I don’t even believe in to grant me just a few sweet hours of sleep and escape from myself. Sleep is the drug I don’t pay for, the booze I don’t have to drink. Sleep is all I need to feel human. But I can’t sleep without either of the two. I need to cloud my head with drugs and alcohol in order to let myself drift off to sleep. To escape from the guilt and frustration I feel all day long. And it’s terrifying. Falling asleep at night has become such a struggle, something I dread all day because of the fear that lingers behind my eyelids and makes me sweat and shake and traps me in violent nightmares. And the pressure of knowing that if I don’t fall to sleep I will not go to work and I will spend another entire day basked in guilt. How is somebody supposed to recharge and feel human when they can’t do the most essential and natural thing they are supposed to do?<br />They figure out what it is they have been smothering all this time, they face the things that scare them and make them feel low and they let go of all of it. Then they lie down at night and doze off to sleep through the night and dream of things that aren’t dark and ugly and they wake up and feel like they can face the day cause at the end of it they can have another break from their heavy thoughts.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-54165333885185373262007-11-16T09:16:00.001-08:002007-11-16T09:17:54.499-08:00Update on Empty WalletNot only did I get through to unemployment and plead my case but they said they will send the check out today. My dad give me 60 bucks yesterday and Kelly gave me a knife last night. I won't be getting raped now.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-5531663616821596122007-11-15T09:01:00.000-08:002007-11-16T07:47:52.320-08:00Nest On (The Maggots Nest Anthem)Nest On ( My Ode to the Maggots Nest)<br /><br />By Lizzi Tish<br /><br />Every time that I look in the mirror<br />No more Natty Ice and things get clearer<br />the beers are gone<br />they lasted from eight till dawn<br />isn't that the way<br />Every maggots got a nest where they can stay<br /><br />Yeah, I know everybody knows where the beer comes from and where it goes<br />I know the number for Franklin Just hit rocketdial and they'll deliver a new case of sin<br /><br /> Half my life's lived in Nests & Cages<br />live and learn from my friends drunken rages<br /> you know it's true<br /> all the maggots come back to booze<br /><br /> Sing with me, sing for the Nest<br /> sing for the laughter and sing for unrest<br /> sing with me,<br />if it's just today<br />maybe tomorrow the good Beakey will send us away<br /><br />Nest on, Nest on, Nest yourself a dream come true<br />Nest on, nest on, Nest on, and Nest until the beers are throughlizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-89522435705540852272007-11-15T08:47:00.000-08:002007-11-16T07:44:57.110-08:00Life LessonsTrue Story One evening while laying in bed with her boyfriend and best friend watching the movie Permanent Midnight there was a girl who had recently decided to end her month long drinking binge. Ten minutes into the movie she saw someone with a bottle of beer and was quickly reminded of how good it tastes. At this point she sprang from the bed, dove to her pocketbook and pulled out her remaining gas money for the week. Three dollar bills, three quarters, one dime. If she could find one more quarter she could afford two 40oz of Natural Ice. She started to feel the burning eyes of the people in the room and realized she looked like a coyote hovering over a fresh squirrel carcass and she grew embaressed. She decided pajama pants and flip flops would suffice for this trip and she fled the room and the judging looks from her peers. When she pulled up at the conveniently close Red Apple Liquors, she noticed two very unsavory men; one sitting in a pick up truck next to her car, the other standing at the door talking to the one in the pick up. The one at the door looked like he lived underneath a train station. He donned a tight, tan leather jacket, with those creepy gloves that have the fingers cut off, and a turtleneck covered by flannel. His face was riddled with pock marks, and his mangled teeth the color of nicotene. He was the type of person you could look at and immediately know what he smelled like. She weighed her options of either staying in the car and pretending to try and find something until they left or suck it up and walk in the store. Her hunger for cold, refreshing beer was too dire so she got up her courage and walked into the store. Naturally this guy was standing in front of the Miller High Life's so she did not have to stand too close to him. She was scared because all too often these type of men would hit on her, and she was feeling very vulnerable in her pajamas and tank top. She picked up her two 40oz and headed for the counter where he already was, it was here the two made conversation.<br /><br />Sleezy Halfway House dude- "Oops ,didn’t see ya there " (as he gestured for her to put her beer on the counter while he was getting his change into his wallet)<br />Ridiculously Cool Girl- "oh thanks" (as she placed her beer onto the counter nervously)<br />Sleezy Halfway House Dude "40 ounces huh? You go girl" (smiling through his chapped lips at her) Ridiculously Cool Girl "Nothing but the best" (as she slowly turns the bottle to unveal the Natural Ice Label) Sleezy Halfway House Dude- "Whoooaa Natty Ice to boot, you’re a woman after my own heart" (as he places a hand over his heart on his tethered flannel shirt and walks backwards out of the store, raising his bag of beer to her)<br />Ridiculously Cool Girl- "Hahha Enjoy!!" (as she turns her attention back to the look of abolute disgust from the Indian clerk she realizes that she just looked into the eyes of her inevitable future)<br /><br />She leaves the store and chuckles to herself about yet another liquor store experience that has left her heart warm and her smile wide and decided that the people that make her uncomfortable and look like potential rapists are actually her friends.lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-72481247413982108262007-11-15T08:40:00.000-08:002007-11-15T08:42:14.587-08:00How to Ace a Job InterviewI just got a job at a pretty reputable company. How I beat out the 6 other candidates for the position goes a little something like this..<br />1. Party until 4 am at friends house on the night before the interview.<br />2. Drive home and struggle to get 4 hours of sleep before waking up to head to interview.<br />3. Wake up and Pull clothing out of the suitcase that you have been living out of because you have been thrown out of your house for the second time in 3 months. Do NOT iron. Do not acknowledge the fact that your belly is completely exposed and your jean jacket us filthy.<br />4. Leave makeup on that you had on when you went out the night before. Just clean up the black eye makeup that has wandered half way down your face.<br />5. Get to interview and stare blankly at the directory on the wall until someone asks you if you need help. Get on elevator travel up and down between floors until you realize the floor you are looking for is labeled lobby not 1st floor.<br />6. Get off elevator and stare blankly at directory again until someone else asks you if you need help. Explain predicament and have you future coworker explain the whole Lobby=1st floor thing. Then giggle and say "yeah Im kind of retarded when it comes to finding things" Then upon introductions discover this man is someone you will be working for.<br />7. Arrive in office of Interviewer where he asks you questions and you give one word answers.<br />8. Pick at your fingernails, fidget, and act completely disinterested.<br />9. When he asks you what your short term goals are, say "I dont really have any Im kinda just living day to day" then laugh about how dumb that sounded.<br />10. When he asks you if you have any questions about the position or about the company. Say "no" and offer no follow up.<br />11. While he is walking you out of his office say "pardon the jean jacket I know I must look like a dirtbag but Ive been living out of boxes for a week" Dont explain further.<br />12. And finally as you are walking through the door and down the hallway hit him with a "Laaattta" in your most West Quincy voice.<br />13. Wait for the company to come begging to hire you and then go ace a drug test so you can start the next round of "the Liz Furlong Job expectancy Pool"lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-37763150437493070162007-11-15T08:06:00.001-08:002007-11-15T08:06:39.902-08:00Letter to Sir Mix-A LotDear Sir Mix A Lot, I am writing you to ask for your help. It seems as though many of my friends are suffering from SMAV Which is a street term for Sir Mix A Lot Virus. It is impossible to breach any subject without breaking into song whether it be about drinking, pancakes, butter, Marching Powder and many other day to day life issues besides big butts. It has become close to impossible to carry on conversation with anyone of my friends these days because they are breaking out into song and dance midway through conversation. I know these were not your intentions when you wrote this song, clearly you were just expressing your love for "big butts" and trying to tell your other brothers not to deny their shared affection for a round derriere but I don’t think you thought about the negative affects it could have on today's youth. Case in point whilst enjoying a night out with friends Saturday March 27th my dear friend Jeff was discussing his passion for pancakes and it turned ugly when he could not stop singing and adding lyrics about butter and whatnot. He was struck down in the prime of his fun and turned into a mumbling fool. We had to dose him up with liquor and other pharmaceuticals just to make him stop. Take my friend Kelly for example she just likes to drink. That's not a crime but what is a crime is the fact that she cannot even tell her fellow drinking partner about her love for drinking without breaking into song. Its becoming a problem that is way worse than her excessive drinking. So please if you could I would love to hear perhaps a new song you could write. Just please don’t include the words Schfifty, Schwaum, Hokey Pokey, Country, Nice, Momma Likes, and Nine. I know that you are not responsible for the growing trend and overuse of those words I will be writing letters to the people responsible for that at a later date. So in conlcusion although I do love and respect and appreciate you and your love of the round things in your face I do not get sprung when I see my friends suffering. Please write a new song you will be helping us a lot.<br /> Thank you, Becky Furlonglizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2515734950409989151.post-757043681365565452007-11-15T06:58:00.000-08:002007-11-15T07:38:26.307-08:00My Ongoing battle with an Empty WalletI should have got my last Unemployment check in the mail yesterday, but I didn't. It should be coming today instead because of the holiday, but it's not. In Fact it hasnt even been processed yet because I didn't attend a meeting for a Job Fair today that was required of me. The Job Fair is today mind you and they couldnt possibly know that I had no intentions of going and just assumed I wasnt and decided to hold my check as a result of my assumed not going. I would love to talk to someone at the Department of Unemployment and explain to them that I actually have a job now that I started last Monday therefore I do not need to attend said Job Fair meeting, but that's not an option. It's not an option because the Automated person I get when I call the Unemployment line tells me that there is an unusually heavy volume of calls today and then disconnects me, which makes me wonder why I don't have the choice of waiting. If your at all familiar with the Unemployment line then you know that it takes about 5 minutes of unnecessary announcements to even get to the part where you start waiting so I would much rather wait in excess of thirty minutes than to have to repeatedly call and go through the obligatory process of getting to the disconnect part again.<br />So my car is broken down and has been for about 3 weeks now and will be for probably another 2 weeks until I get my first paycheck from my new job. I have been using public transportation to get to South Station which is right near where my job is at. I walk, take the bus, take the train and then walk again to get to an from work everyday and surprisingly it hasn't really been bothering me all that much except for when I get off the bus at night and have to walk home but thats only because there is a rapist/burglar on the loose in my neighborhood. Hopefully they catch him soon before I have to start carrying a steak knife because I can't afford a crappy pocket knife because of the stupid unemployment check issue. If I have to carry a steak knife the chances of me reaching in my bag for a cigarette and slicing my hand open is far greater than the chances of actually warding off a potential rapist. So it's either get my car fixed or buy a knif e or get raped and as you know I can't pay for either of the two. So my Question is.. If I get raped can I hold the Department of Unemployment responsible?lizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03438959851590311060noreply@blogger.com0